Post Date: January 01, 2014
Snow sucks, winter sucks, blah blah blah…you know what sucks even more? -These annoying posts that litter Facebook and Twitter during these polar blasts. Take a look at the top 10 things we are sick of seeing posted on social media, and then stop doing them. No really, enough is enough.
It’s so annoying seeing the constant posts of people in the northeast leaving the snow for Miami. We don’t know what is worse, being snowed in with cabin fever or having to actually leave the house, somehow get to the airport, deal with cancelled flights, possibly crash on the runway, and then do it all over again after your vacation is over. Because let’s get real, you’re never leaving DC- here’s why with- Polar Blast Pushing People out of DC and the Northeast- FOREVER?
Hey guess what? We all have smart phones with the complimentary ‘Weather’ app. No need to spread the misery around social media. We all know it’s colder than a whore’s heart outside, thanks for the reminder. This also doubles for the lucky ones in warmer climates who post their 70 and 80 degree temps. There’s a special place in hell for them.
How many pictures do we want to see of your ride under a snowdrift? The answer is none. It’s depressing because it reminds of the emending doom of having to go dig our own cars out of the snow, and we’d prefer to stay inside and wait for spring to naturally melt the snow off for us.
Everyone is posting food pictures. Let’s get real; you’re no Chef Boyardee ok. There’s a HUGE line between food porn pictures posted by trained chefs and whatever kind of beige slop you are concocting over there on your George Foreman grill.
Complaining about Closings
Oh boo hoo, the gym, your favorite coffee shop or your favorite nightclub is closed. Really? Just because you may live around the block, doesn’t mean the employees or owners do. You should use this time to hunker down and enjoy some relaxing time at home or follow this guide for 7 Ways to Stay Warm during the Winter Storm.
Be thankful that there are less people on the roads because nobody needs to be killed on the way to work just so you can overload on caffeine.
West Coasters love to rub in their perfect year round weather in our faces especially during these polar snowstorms from hell. Feel free to get back at them by posting pictures of the 1992 LA riots, the LA smog, or LA traffic to retaliate.
“Where’s all the snow?” This is the obnoxious of all posts. Oh you think you’re Jack Frost? Just because Al Roker told you there would be a foot of snow and only a percentage of the predicted amount fell, it’s still snow and ice and it’s shitty and you’re stuck inside and freezing your ass off. Stop being a snow snob, you’re not a weather man and any snow sucks, so sorry it’s not towering over your head, if you want more snow fall, move to Canada.
Driving in the Snow
Excuse me, didn’t you listen to Oprah? There should be no texting while driving and certainly no picture taking. Driving in the snow is already asking for trouble, then here you are with your fat gloved fingers trying to take ‘selfies’ or pictures of the snow and ice littered roads while you’re driving. How was it not graduating with the rest of your high school class?
Unless you have a Siberian Husky, I’m guessing your 5 pound tea cup Yorkie, though desperately adorable in that designer puffer jacket, shouldn’t be up to his head in snow. How would you like to go out with no pants on and have your entire body in naked in the snow? Shovel a small patch in the yard for your furry friend to do their business, put the camera down and get your poor pet back inside before the SPCA is at your door playing that damn Sarah McLaughlin song.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Children
We all saw ‘The Christmas Story’. Dressing your kids up in layer after layer and then making them pose for pictures. This should be considered some sort of child abuse. Back in the day before social media, kids only had to worry about the neighborhood seeing them dressed up like a marshmallow. Now these poor tykes have to deal with their Facebook obsessed parents blasting their embarrassing pictures all over the Internet. Just think, one day they will be an angst-ridden teenager and torture you- pay back’s a bitch!