So, fellas, we presume our first post about everything you do wrong found you well. Unfortunately for you, there’s so much other shit you do wrong. Fortunately we can help! Here are five more things you should stop doing, like, right now.
OK so yes… it’s slightly creepy (by slightly we mean very) to just go behind a chick and start grinding on her like nobody’s business. We can and will use our weapon-adorned clothing to harm you. Ya know what’s more awkward than not asking a girl to dance? Asking:
“Hey, wanna dance?”
“Like, no, I don’t, and since you asked, get away.”
We get it, we’re AHMAZINGGGG and you always wanna hug and kiss and love us. But like, chill a little. Tell us you love us and wanna be with us in small doses. We’re not saying don’t tell your girl how amazing she is… because she is. But relax. Too much together time is never a good thing. Too much of anything is never a good thing.
This one bothers me the most… Especially as your go-to fashion guru. Come on, guys. Get with the times and understand the trends. A little black dress while it does make a girl feel sexy, is not the only thing stores sell. Understand that sometimes high fashion forces women to dress like men, or like MC Hammer, or like Sandy from Grease. Whatever the trend – understand it, appreciate it, love it. Oh, and complimenting her on her sense will always get you extra brownie points.
Again we get it. You have a reputation to uphold. You’re “the man.” You kill it with the chicks. You can get with anything that moves. Congratulations! Oh wait, I forgot I don’t care. If you like a girl show her off to your friends. Don’t put her down in front of them. In the end you just look stupid. You make her look like an asshole. And it’s gonna take you a long time to make it up to her.
Quit fucking with our emotions. Thanks!
Don’t worry, guys. Yes, you suck most of the time. But there’s still a chance to salvage yourself. Find the problem, and fix it. Otherwise, you may be alone forever.