Post Date: November 11, 2013
Today’s lesson is on the anomaly known as Bitstrips, and how to try to block it.
I had blocked the app immediately after seeing how my Facebook friends have the creativity comparable to that of the chick from Twilight’s facial expressions (see: none), but alas, Bitstrips, being the dubstep of apps, somehow wobble, womped, and twerked its way back onto my news feed.
Because Bitstrips is essentially a cesspool of inside jokes, whenever the parties involved comment on one, we see it magically re-appear on our news feeds. The revolving door of Bitstrips is horrible and unavoidable. Blocking it does help alleviate some of the pain and at first you may feel like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman,” freed and like a new life is beginning, but in the end you cannot escape the fact that you got still got banged by everyone. Every so often a friendly reminder will pop up and you catch yourself crying in a corner listening to Dashboard Confessional.
While the concept of the app is clever, it is the users that are making our news feeds an island surrounded by diarrhea. As if pictures of food and duckface selfies are not enough, we now have to deal with comic strips that make absolutely no sense. What baffles me about the whole phenomenon is that I never saw one that was remotely funny. If you think they are funny you probably watch reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and have a group of friends aptly named “the Mean Girls.” Possibly a Facebook album named “I might be bad but I’m perfectly good at it” as well. You also may have quoted Marilyn Monroe as a status update more than once. If so I hate you. Seriously, why do people idolize her? She was like the classic slut.
But I digress, we have now reached the point where people reading this will say, “I totes have made some awesome Bitstrips.” To all of you I issue this challenge. Make one that is not an inside joke and is actually funny. Post it in the comment section provided below. Tag me in it. Tweet me it. Whatever. If it is actually funny, you get rewarded with the prize of wasting your time by making a Bitstrip.
For everyone else, here are some simple instructions on how to try and block Bitstrips.
1) Click on the Facebook Account Settings icon, and click the “Blocking” option on the left side of your screen.
2) Now scroll down to the “Block Apps” option at the bottom.
3) Type in “Bitstrips.”
Find a Bitstrip on your news feed and click on the down arrow located in the top right of the post. You then simply click on the Hide all from Bitstrips options and they will be removed from your Facebook new feed.
Delete all of your friends. Live Bitstrips in real life.
Bitstrips: So not fetch.
Follow me on Twitter: @BenLekEchostage
LIKE OMG BONUS MATERIAL: This is what Bitstrips looks like to people that are not involved in your Bitstrips.