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Grammy Slam

Grammy Slam

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Post Date: February 02, 2012

grammy awardA Truly Tasteless Grammys Wrap UpGrammy Award

Amidst a sea of narcisism, the 2012 Grammy hopefuls dazzled, disgusted, and depressed the second highest Grammy viewing audience ever with 40 million viewers. Whitney Houston’s death helped boost the numbers, with fans seeking some Kumbaya after Houston’s departure late Saturday evening.

The stars in attendance were as random as the performances which included everyone from Tony Benet and The Beach Boys to David Guetta, Nicki Minaj, Chris Brown and Taylor Swift.

Chris Brown
Chris Brown

Bully Beat Down

Chris Brown returned to the Grammys with his new single “Turn Up the Music” and dance smash “Beautiful People”.

It’s bad enough he and Rihanna were in the same room together, but the lip-synching we could have done without.

He later picked up the award for Best R&B Album for F.A.M.E., ‘beating’ out several more of R&B’s top stars.

Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj needs an exorcism!

Nicki Minaj goes all sacrilegious and scary.

The Versace-caped Minaj arrived with her date, the Pope, then terrified the audience with her performance of her new song “Roman Holiday”.

First there was Lady Gaga, now pop diva wanna be’s like Minaj and Katey Perry try in desperation to outdo her egg arrival and crazy wardrobe.

“Take your medication, Roman/ Take a short vacation, Roman/ You’ll be OK,” she rapped.  Do us all a favor and take a permanent vacation Minaj!

Katy Perry
Katy Perry

Smurfette never had roots!

Katy Perry Smurfed at the Grammys, with a matching blue hairstyle and light-blue, long-sleeved Elie Saab gown.

The blue hair did nothing to distract from her lip-syncing performance and left the audience wondering if the carpet matches the drapes?

At least touch up those roots!

Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters

God save rock n' roll

The Foo Fighters brought back rock n’ roll performing their hit “Walk” and nabbing 5 Grammy’s.

Grohl reminded fans that his latest album, “Wasting Light” was recorded in his garage, then made some remarks that were clearly directed at pop artists who opt to auto tune rather than develop their musical talents.

“To me this award means a lot because it shows that the human element of music is what’s most important,” he said, as members of the audience began to applaud. “Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument and learning to do your craft, that’s the most important thing for people to do.”

Hint hint, Chris Brown, Katy Perry, Madonna, Britney Spears, you get the point…

Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars

Back in time with Bruno Mars

“Tonight we celebrate the music of Whitney Houston. Get off your rich asses and let’s have some fun!” Bruno Mars demanded of the audience.

Isn’t part of being rich getting to sit on your rich ass and think about your piles of money?

Mars and his Hooligans performed “Runaway Baby” in matching black-and-gold tuxedos.  Was that a “bump it” in his pompadour?


I'm gangsta!

Rihanna, who took home the Grammy for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for Kanye West’s “All of the Lights,” burned up the red carpet in a black Armani dress, which was reportedly inspired by Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface.

The plunging dress is “simple, sexy, and gangsta at the same time,” explained Rihanna, who now sports an unconvincing blonde pile of hay on top of her head and looked skinnier than usual.

Wonder if her dad or brother ran into Chris Brown.

Lupe Fiasco
Lupe Fiasco

Who is Lupe Fiasco?

No date? Bring your mom!

That’s what Lupe Fiasco and J. Cole did for their double date stroll down the red carpet for their first Grammys.

I’m sure all Mr. Fiasco’s mother was thinking was,  “Who is Lupe Fiasco? I gave birth to Wasalu Muhammad Jaco!”


Pawn that gold Adele!

Adele ran away with the most Grammy’s, taking home six.

No need for an overly choreographed computerized mess. Just a stool is all the songbird needs to prove she has the chops to stand up and defeat her peers.

The Brit performed “Rolling in the Deep,” which won Song of the Year.

She’d be the perfect coach on ‘The Voice.;

Whitney Houston

The shocking news of Whitney Houston’s death made headlines late Saturday, which left little time for the Grammy’s to prepare a tribute.

None the less, an emotional Jennifer Hudson belted out a powerful rendition of Whitney’s classic “I Will Always Love You,” to a tearful audience.


David Guetta
David Guetta

EDM has arrived

Representing dance music in the current pop landscape was a collaborative performance featuring David Guetta and Deadmau5.

The DJs were joined onstage by an eclectic mix of artists, including the Foo Fighters, skateboard toting rapper Lil’ Wayne, and Breezy.

Electronic music fans may cry “sell out” but pretty sure Guetta isn’t sorry he’s not playing at basement raves for free and eating Ramen noodles!