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The Girls Guide to Drink Hustling

The Girls Guide to Drink Hustling

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Post Date: February 02, 2012

The Girls Guide to Drink Hustling

It’s easy for girls to get free drinks in DC. Batting your eyes and hiking up your skirt is sometimes all it takes! But in a crowded club with competition, ya gotta get sneaky. If the welfare check never came, you’re broke, cheap, or just think you deserve it; following this guide will get you a few rounds on some sucker.

Just Remember: We never said anything about keeping your integrity intact. Nor do we necessarily recommend doing any of this. #justsayin

Sexual Currency

slutty girlThe Ye Old guide to prostitution, which is in fact the oldest profession-this kind of monetary substitution works in any type of situation.

Offering up your ass on a silver platter will ensure a night of free libations.  This works with male staff and guests alike. 

The best part is you don’t have to follow through. Just the promise of a good time is enough!



“I’ll get the next round” is a convenient line to use is this situation.

Leeching refers to the idea of benefiting, usually deliberately, from others’ effort but not offering anything in return.

Cozy up with a group of friends and make sure you benefit from their generosity. When one of your friends orders a round of shots, get into the middle of the group to ensure a shot glass is passed your direction!

Early On-Set Alzheimer’s

Wallet“Conveniently” forget your wallet at home– this move does not require any finesse.

Just pull the “sorry I forgot my wallet” line!

Order a shot, down it, then hit em with the line. Your friend will likely have to pull out his wallet, but you still scored a free one.

Be that Annoying Picky Girl

Vodka Tonic

Drink half, then say it doesn’t taste right.

Pick a classic drink like a “vodka tonic” drink half, look at the glass funny, then tell the bartender you ordered a “vodka soda”.

A common mistake and a brilliant scheme you can parade through the club violating each bartender.

Good Old-Fashioned Thievery

Slink through the club, targeting the groups who obviously didn’t listen to the “Roofies” speech their mother’s gave about never leaving your drink unattended for fear of Uncle Festors date rape drive by.

While they are off fist pumping to Enrique, having left their drinks on the bar, select the tastiest one and run off with your prize!

Go Shorty; It’s Your Birthday!

Tell anyone who will listen that it’s your birthday.

That creepy old dude at the end of the bar- now it’s time to cash in! The bartender picking her nose- she’s bored enough to heed your shameless request.

The more you subject to your birthday blabber the less sober you get! The joy is it’s not really your birthday.

Bridal Party Drive By

You’ve all seen the obnoxious group of girls on ladies night with penis straws and a Miss America sash that exclaims “Bride”, a boa, and a crown spreading their pre marital bliss over the club like a disease.

No fiancé? No problem.

Buy a sash, grab your girls and make sure everyone knows you are a bride-to-be thus naturally deserving of a free shot!


Overhear someone else order, then put your next drink on their tab.

Find out the name that another customer is ordering the drink under.

Wait a few minutes, walk up to the bar and order a drink on your new best friends tab.


Dirty Old ManTarget the really drunk old man to buy your next drink.

Everyone recognizes the old barfly lurking around the club. He has a couple failed marriages, he is balding, and spends his days trolling the Internet for Russian mail order brides.

Saddle up, this is an easy one.  These guys are like sitting ducks, bat your eyes, giggle like a schoolgirl and within minutes he’ll be your new bank account.

Garbage Lady

Hair DrinkDrink most of the drink, and then insert a foreign object.

Nobody likes getting any kind of hair, insects or something other than alcohol and ice in their drink.

So down that long island, toss in foreign object and complain.  Beer bottle caps, paper clips, a piece of glass, your ratty extensions, anything convenient works like a charm!


small liquor bottlesThis one takes some planning.

Hit up your local liquor store, and stock up on mini liquor bottles. 

Order a your fav mixer and be your own bathroom bartender! You’ll get your party started and save a few bucks.  Though this strategy can get you thrown out on your butt or turned away at the door.

Girl on Girl

Slutty GirlsGuys find some satisfaction in girls making out.

If you’re short on cash and moral fiber, make out with another chick!

Guys will cheer and holler like Cro Magnon man and you will benefit from more drinks than you can guzzle.