Post Date: December 12, 2011
Everyone’s been there. Too much to drink, turns into time you won’t remember, and things you may regret; but, the rest of us benefit from the stories you hungover fools tell us. Thanks to these die hard party people of course.
Went out on a friend’s boat on the Potomac. Drinks, drinks, drinks…next day, woke up in a strange, dark basement alone thinking I was reliving “Silence of the Lambs”. Could barely see straight, my dog was hopping around in the distance- PRECIOUS! Crawled to the bathroom to drink out of the sink. I had to use the GPS locator on my phone to realize I was in Centreville, VA (45 minutes from my apartment) – CAR-LESS! The owner of the boat called me a few hours later from his office letting me know I was threatening jumping off the moving boat. They had to carry me over their shoulder to the car. I threw up while I was being carried and couldn’t tell them directions back to my house so they smuggled me to their house. I finally got home around 10PM the following night still feeling near death but happy he wasn’t wearing my skin as a dress.
During college, we had a terrible hurricane. We were all sent to the dorms to stay there for safety for a few days. There were several extra students assigned to each room. We had about 6 of us in one dorm room one night. The two girls we were staying with had put all their valuables in a trunk in the closet on the other side of the room with clothes on top. We all went to sleep, I was completely blacked out, went to go use the bathroom and wandered to the closet instead of the bathroom and did ALL my business on all their valuables. They woke up in the middle of it and I ran naked to the bathroom and locked myself in there, passed out. The rest of the year I was tormented.
I was a chef at a restaurant and was teaching a cooking class for a group of twenty 12-year-old girls. I was so drunk from the night before I passed out in the middle of in and collapsed on the floor. The ambulance was called because I wouldn’t wake up and my nose started to bleed. Funny thing was I wasn’t fired!
My worst hangover came after drinking 7 hurricanes. I remember waking up in a neighbor’s lawn with nothing but my boxers on. The sprinkler system woke me up as I was getting soaked. Everything was blurry and I had the worst headache that I have ever experienced. I walked home wet in my boxers. Apparently I made out with a girl that I am repulsed by, and tried to fight a wall…I mean literally a wall. My friends say they left me in my bed, so I don’t know how I ended up on my neighbor’s lawn.
I woke up on a flat bottom boat that had drifted into a cove on Lake Lanier… I don’t know whose boat it was or how I got on it, but I proceeded to drive the boat around the lake, with a horrible hangover, until I found an area I was familiar with. At which point I got out and walked to a friend’s house. I have no idea whatever happened to that boat…