Post Date: May 05, 2013
Guys, we know it’s hard. We women are often gossipy trolls who don’t know the limits of healthy social interactions and relationships. Some of us can admit that. However, before you throw in the towel and accept the false truth that all women are essentially complicated, read this quick guide. It could make all the difference.
Women travel in packs, even when most of them don’t get along with one another. How’s that for complicated. In retrospect, there is no clear-cut answer for this. Why do we go to the bathrooms together or walk in groups? Because we can. Going to the restroom together, for one, makes the whole process a little more fun, and yes, we do talk about you. And a side note to keep in mind–we don’t actually powder our nose; it’s just a useless expression. Women are like social butterflies on crack. Once we find our group, we stick to it.
We can smell your awkward fear a mile away. If you’re uneasy around the ladies, don’t think you can hide it. It just makes the whole situation that much more uncomfortable, so relax, assert yourself, and step forward…which brings in the next point.
We really do like intellectually mysterious a$$holes. It’s true, women like guys who are a little rough around the edges. This does not mean jerks; rather, it means guys who make her think, wonder, and in turn, want. Just like men, women like a challenge and a chase. If you’re easy and overly nice, you won’t stand a chance. Nice guys don’t finish last, but a few tweaks to that nerdy gentleman demeanor already puts you ahead of the pack.
It’s the fifth date and she asks…“Where do you see us going?” This question probably turns a lot of guys completely off. However, don’t let it freak you out. For women, this is the end of the test drive and she wants to know if purchasing is the right choice. There’s nothing wrong with that, we just like to plan. If you like her, tell her how you feel; perhaps you see a long-term relationship. If it’s just a booty call, don’t tell her that it’s just a booty call if you like where your testicles are. Instead, be honest and admit that you don’t want anything serious. None of that “it’s not you, it’s me” stuff. We don’t even believe that, and we created the expression.
Getting ready for anything is a serious process that we cannot change. Do you like turning around to see that amazingly hot woman walk by? It really did take her hours to get ready. Outfits aside, shoes and accessories can make or break any outfit. Women like to look good, of course. It not only boosts their self-confidence, but guess what? We do it for you. If you didn’t care what we looked like, we would stick to the sweatpants and hair bands.
Playing hard to get is our go-to tactic. Guys do it, too. No woman wants to come across as needy too soon. That is a big no-no. Instead, by playing hard to get, we gauge you and everything about you. If you pass the test (that you don’t know you’re taking), it’s a green light. Yes, that includes sex. Most women don’t open the treasure chest early (although there are always exceptions), but we understand that too much teasing is just plain unfair. We can reciprocate and reward you.
Assuming that her crappy mood is PMS-related. It probably is, but never say it. The curse that is PMS can only be properly understood by women, naturally. Throwing out remarks about it only opens the gates of Hell and will get you nowhere fast. However, offering to comfort her could win you some kudos points. Listen, even if she babbles about work and other chick drama. We can’t expect for you to tune into the whole conversation, but if you catch the important points, you’ll be in the clear.
The golden question. “Does this make me look fat?” Let’s put it this way: either way you answer this, you’re lying. There is bound to be that one outfit that shows off her muffin top just a little too much. If you say no, you’re lying. If you say yes, you’re single. Here’s the tip–leave the outfit advice to her girlfriends. That’s what they do best, and ironically, she won’t get mad when they do tell her the truth. You can’t change that, it’s just our way. What you can do, however, is ignore the question and do something to catch her off guard–a kiss or a hug always works. Women want to be wanted, and what better way to make her forget about her outfit dilemma than a passionate lip-lock.
So you see? We’re really not that complicated. The beauty of our interactions is that we all have mysteries and depths, men and women alike. There is nothing more enticing or sexier than learning and exploring (whatever that means for you).