10 People We’re Done With
Famous or not, we all know them. And we all hate them.
1. Miley Cyrus
WE GET IT MILEY. YOU LOVE POT AND YOU WEAR CRAZY CLOTHES AND YOU’RE SO INSANE ZOMG. Except your excessive pot references made you look like a desperate freshman at orientation week, the “unique” clothes you wore were blatant ripoffs of an awesome Australian clothing label, and you’re craziness is no more than a painfully scripted series of very uncomfortable moments at this point. The 2015 VMAs were like watching someone try really hard to be the “cool mom” in a group of eye-rolling kids with forced smiles. You aren’t funny, you definitely aren’t cool, and the only thing going for you is that your career’s definitive dive-bomb was nationally televised.
2. Justin Beiber
Why. WHY do people still care about this kid? (Okay, the song with Skrillex isn’t bad, but that’s thanks to Skrillex, not the Beibs) When you Google yourself and see that 90% of the hits include the word “douche” or some variation of it, you’ve got to know that you’ve taken some wrong turns in your life. Also, who told him that haircut was a solid choice? He should speak to his manager about it. Dear Justin Beiber, you are the worst. Love, everyone minus the screaming tweens who refuses to believe the internet.
3. The Metro
Mother of god. Get your sh*t together, Metro. We get it – it’s not a person, but it raised all the rider rates, promised us some swanky new cars, and built new stations to extend it’s reach. What did we get in return? “Good morning passengers! Please note that there will be indefinite delays in all directions on every line due to permanent single tracking for track work that will never get done. There are no working elevators at most stations, so godspeed to all our handicap friends riding today. Also, apologies for the lack of a/c in any capacity while the Summer humidity hits its peak. Have a great morning explaining to your boss and/or teacher why you’re 45 minutes late and dripping with strangers’ sweat!”
4. Kanye West
Few people can piss off the masses with the finesse that Kanye does. Every time he gets in some sort of spotlight (or when someone else does, but he takes it anyway), he wastes precious minutes of our lives that could have been better spent getting hit by a truck. Who keeps giving him a microphone? We miss Late Registration-era Kanye, when the music hit home and it didn’t come with terrible fashion sense and a presidential campaign.
5. Meek Mill
HA. We almost feel sorry for him. Almost. You can’t get superdissed by Drake and then come back with a response that causes a hashtag frenzy making fun of you. #MeekBeLike DCClubbing aint even write its own blogs tho. The one bonus about this guy still desperately trying to keep afloat on twitter are the awesome burn jokes that have come out of it.
6. Iggy Azalea
Just give up, Iggy. After you spat gibberish and tried selling it as a “freestyle” verse during one of your awful concerts, the world stopped paying attention to your music and more to the fact that you sound like Donnie from The Wild Thornberrys.
7. Dan Snyder & RG3
It says a lot when the worst thing about your franchise isn’t its abysmal record on the field. Between Snyder being Snyder and RG3 failing spectacularly at the one job he had to do, Skins fans have fallen to the lowest pits of fandom hell.
8. That one kid in class who, when the teacher asks “Before we end early, are there any more questions?”, asks an obnoxious question with a very complicated answer
Eat sh*t, kid. We could have made it to Happy Hour if it wasn’t for you. It’s probably the same person who reminded the teacher to check last night’s homework you didn’t do.
9. That person who doesn’t seem to understand escalator etiquette
THE LEFT SIDE IS FOR WALKERS, THE RIGHT IS FOR STANDERS. If you’re going to stare at your phone to play Candy Crush at full volume you need to stop trying to walk at a glacial pace and step aside. We lost track of how many trains were missed, how many curse words were uttered, and how much time was wasted because some butthead decided to block the fast lane on the escalator while a rage-filled line formed behind them. MOVE.
10. All of the Kardashians
Eight years. EIGHT. That’s how long America has let the travesty of “Keeping Up” with them go on. If you haven’t caught the IQ-dropping show, no worries: their faces are everywhere anyway. Take a look at any tabloid, odds are at least one of them is plastered across the front page with some kind of new “scandal” to keep them in the spotlight they so desperately cling to. OMG A KARDASHIAN HAS BLUE HAIR NOW SEE PICS POSTED TO THEIR INSTAGRAMS THEY DEFINITELY DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE. Stfu.
