10 Things You Don’t Do at the Gym
Top 10 Ridiculous Things People Do At The Gym
1. Fashion Show Fitness
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about, coming to the gym with your hair nice and curled, full makeup done clearly more focused on finding a man than finding the best workout routine.
2. Unconventional Gym Attire
From guys wearing their Ralph Lauren Polos to ladies in long flowy skirts with leggings under it, how can that be comfortable to sweat in..?
3. Talent Show Studs
Every gym has these, the guys trotting around thinking they’re mad cool singing Eminem’s Drop The World to feel like a real bad boy while they lift trying to look like they put in no effort and the self-motivating talkers are the worst, no one is listening so why are you talking, they might take you to the psych ward if you don’t stop!
4. Grunters
Okay, so some exercises may require more effort and have you struggling a bit, but do you need to grunt loud enough for the people in Zumba class down the hall to hear you?
5. The Self-Absorbed Love Makers
You know those guys always staring in the mirror while caressing their muscles, its almost uncomfortable walking in front of them to grab some weights; don’t want to interrupt the intimate moment. But seriously guys, can you save the flexing for your own home, it’s a little weird.
6. No Effort Nelly
I don’t understand the people who show up just to sit on a bike barely pedaling while reading a magazine and doing homework or the ones walking a whopping 3MPH on the treadmill, why bother?
7. Nosy Busy Bodies
There are few feelings more uncomfortable than to have someone staring at you at the gym to see what speed, resistance or how much weight you’re lifting, mind your business!
8. Dropping Weights
It’s simple, if you aren’t strong enough to gently place your weights on the ground, do a lower weight, I don’t want to hear your weights slamming from the floor below you and wonder if there is an earthquake.
9. Machine Hogs
If you’re just sitting around listening to music or talking on the phone with an occasional set of exercises, get off, there are some people who want to do real work!
10. Lazy Lifters
This is probably everyone’s biggest pet peeve, not racking weights when you’re done, its common courtesy people!
How to look sexy this winter
Stay Sexy This Winter
read this if you still want to look hot while its cold
Contributing Writer: Lauren Liebler
- Patterned Tights: Ditch your pants for the night and wear some patterned tights with a skintight dress or some dress shorts with heels. Some of the best patterns to look for are: lace, pin stripe, mesh, or plain with a stripe in the back. You can never go wrong with those and they never go out of style.
- Thigh High Boots: Nothing screams sex appeal like a thigh high boot that makes your legs look miles long. Wear them over light tights or nothing at all; both will make your outfit look super edgy.
- A cinched waist: bulking up might be the best way to keep warm but one way to make sure you flaunt your figure is to cinch your waist. Whether its with a trench coat that has a belt or buying a waist belt to put over a jacket, you can find different ways to make sure your curves are still defined under all that clothing.
4. Furs: whether you wear real or faux, a fur vest always looks great especially when you pair it with a waist belt. Furs are one of the many things that gals can wear better than guys so invest in one of these and you’ll be set for the rest of the winter.
5. Winter Perfumes: wearing some classic winter scents can catch any man’s attention just by walking by him. Nothing is better than a good smelling woman on a cold day. Some all time favorites include: J’adore Dior and Dolce & Gabbana: The One.
6. MOST IMPORTANTLY: keep exercising, shaving your legs and moisturizing your skin. There is nothing worse than looking better with clothing than without.
The Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts Ever
What Not to Buy Your Wife or Girlfriend for V-Day
Contributing Writer Amanda Hanowitz • @getWITZit
It’s the worst day of the year for single ladies everywhere. Beyonce, where you at?? For the not so single ladies, February 14th isn’t so bad. It’s a day to share with your loved one and blah blah blah.
It’s also a day for presents. And who doesn’t love those?!
Gifts are great! They make the world go round and put a smile on our faces. Want to end your relationship? You can use any of these techniques or simply get her one of these:
1. Vacuum
Talk about SEXIST. Not only would we much rather something else, actually anything else, but it’s also a slap in the face. Not to mention, I’m sure you’re educated in vacuum brands and would pick out the perfect one. Sense my sarcasm? I’d rather pick out my own slave labor materials, thank you.
2. Lingerie
Sounds fine, doesn’t it? Let me explain. Lingerie on Valentine’s Day is given to women so their men friends can get them in a sexual mood. However, how much of this is really in it for us ladies? The answer to that is nothing. This gift is given for a man to please himself.
3. Plastic rose.
At least spend like a dollar extra for a real one, or a different type of flower. Come on, think with your brain.
4. Treadmill.
Seriously, there is no better or clearer way to tell your girl she’s fat than slapping her in the face with a nice piece of exercise equipment.
5. Electric razor.
Am I hairy or something?
6. An E-card.
Thanks for the thought, I guess? I get we’re a technology-driven generation, but a nice handwritten note may be just a tad sweeter. Just a thought.
7. A snuggie.
Hey, I’m all for comfort and warmth. This gift just really says nothing about how you feel about me. Instead it says, “I want you to look like an idiot and wear a fleece dress while you watch TV. Enjoy!”
8. Nothing.
Need I say more? Even a jelly bean would suffice over nothing.
9. A break-up.
So I can’t really think of anything worse than getting broken up with on Valentine’s Day. So, yeah.
10. Your Dick in a Box
Your response to these gifts may be, “OMG, you shouldn’t have!” But, like, seriously, you shouldn’t have.
Bang With Friends?
It’s all in the title.
We kid you not, Bang With Friends is a Facebook app to .. bang your friends. With 13,000 Facebook page likes it looks like the concept might be catching on. In the first eight days the site’s creators claimed to attract 260,000 users and 15,000 matched hookups.
The app has been awarded “Terrible App Idea of the Week” by Forbes, but what could be wrong with a “completely private and discreet” app where words with friends and the Craigslist Casual Encounters section meets? Well.. besides the obvious reasons having sex with someone coordinated via an app titled “Bang With Friends” might not be a great plan. There’s this problem with facebook where nothing is really all that private or discreet:
To find a match you select the friends you would “bang” and no one is the wiser .. until a match is found. Then both users are notified of the matched hookup. After that it’s up to you. Essentially, Bang With Friends is designed to skip the awkward steps of anything resembling courtship. In the process it creates more opportunity for casual sex and one night stands. The app has even earned the title of “evilest app ever,” awarded by the Intervarsity Christian Fellowship in the US.
According to the app’s developers, it’s not the evil that everyone is describing. “[Sex] should be something you’re expressive about, that you’re comfortable with, and if there’s a beautiful woman or a handsome man that you’re interested in, you shouldn’t hold back,” one of the developers says. “We’re just giving you closer access to knowing the truth.” They think the app is better than dating websites like eHarmony or Match.com because “by being honest and forward, we’re taking the no bullshit approach [to sex].” But then again, the app was created on a Red Bull and vodka fueled two hour coding spree. The official email address is also pimpin@bangwithfriends.com and the FAQ page is essentially a pictorial of putting on a condom.
Fashion at the Gym: The Lulu Lifestyle
How to Look Good While Sweating
Contributing Writer Amanda Hanowitz • @getWITZit
Exercising and being healthy is a lifestyle. I’m not trying to preach about eating healthy or any of that garbage. Although, it is wonderful. Maybe that’s just my New Year’s resolution talking.
But whoever is talking to you, embrace the advice.
Drawing from personal experience, I can honestly say working out while surrounded by hot, buff boys is literally the most miserable experience. Like, not only do they look muscley and amazing, but you’re just expected to stand there and not look pathetic?
Wearing a baggy tshirt to the gym may as well be social suicide (*editors note – but we definitely respect the unitard). And sporting a sorority tank or philanthropy event tee is getting a bit tired. What’s a girl to do? What’s a girl to wear?
Cue Lulu Lemon!
Lulu Lemon is your destination for workout gear that makes you look fabulous no matter what. Fortunately, even if you’re doing nothing, you will still look legit.
Lulu Lemon (Lulu for short, duh) offers customers everything from yoga to running gear. The options guarantee that you look put together at the gym, out on the trail or even in the studio.
The best news? Lulu is BEYOND flattering. It’s like workout Spanx. And that, my friends, is fabulous news. Might even help you contribute to your goal of faking it till ya make it.
Our personal faves? The Wunder Under Pant and the Power Y Tank.
Sport any combination of workout leggings and a top to class or even in the streets. This will ensure your legitimacy and street cred while also making you feel great about yourself.
Here’s a crazy thought. Maybe wear your outfit to the actual gym! Insane, right? Did you know exercise is proven to increase your mood and make you more attractive? WOW. I know, right?
Do yourself a favor. Stick to your resolutions, if those included bettering yourself and your style. Go for a run. Do some yoga. Do some squats to get that perfect butt. Whatever you do, just do you. Sweat it out to look your best.
Lululemon locations in the Washington, DC area include Georgetown, Logan Circle, Clarendon, Bethesda and Tyson’s.
Creepy Facebook Messages Guys Send to Go Go Dancers
The title says it all.
You ever wonder who that sexy go go dancer you were hitting on last night went home with? More likely than not, she went home to her boyfriend, child, parents, roommate, dorm room, etc. Maybe she went and partied with her co-workers.
One thing is for sure. She didn’t go home with the creepy guy who stood there winking at her all night. Sorry, man. That only works for James Bond, Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark.
Some guys, however don’t get the point. And now you know why attractive female night life workers don’t use their real names on Facebook:
1.
“Hey, I randomly came across your profile. I swear I haven’t been stalking you for months or anything!”
Hi Dan! You came across my profile? Well in that case, let’s have sex!
2.
“My body is perfect… but I’m a f***ing tool.”
Guys, let this be a lesson to you. Even with ripped abs and flawless pecs, sometimes the best way to win a woman over is by smiling and keeping your mouth shut.
3.
“Scissor me timbers!”
Equal opportunity stalking.
4.
This is actually disturbing:
“Hi, I’m an Arab flight attendant named Osama. I followed you home from the club last night. Let’s be friends.”
5.
“Let’s make babies. You’re beautiful. Don’t wanna talk to me? Fine you’re a whore.”
Well, he opened things up on January 19 with the innocent proposition of conception. After 10 months and no response, the woman he once thought could be the mother of his children demoted to ratchet. Calling all psychiatrists.
6.
“By ‘help’ I mean sex. Get it? Cause of the quotes?”
Next time the toilet’s clogged she can give Pai a call.
7.
“Let’s f***.”
At least this guy (or girl) is concise and honest.
8.
“Are you real?”
You can probably blame the fact you wrote this message on tequila as well.
Moral of the story, gentlemen? There are plenty of girls that come to the club who are DTF or at least down to hook up on the dance floor. The go go dancers are working. Of all the women you see, are you really going after the ones dancing on a block in their underwear? How old are you bro?
You’re better off pre-gaming and going to the strip club. At least then they’ll actually talk to you. Not to mention show you some skin.
If you do happen to be a facebook stalker, ifne. But if you don’t have the balls to say hi in person. remember, you’ve got a lot of creepy competition out there.
Sky Blu Drops 1st Single Since LMFAO Split
Sky Blu – Pop Bottles (feat. Mark Rosas) [Produced by Big Bad]
After splitting due to financial disagreements (as reported by the NY Post) and creative differences (as stated by the group), LMFAO’s Sky Blu is now set to release his first single. Hope ya shined your shufflin’ shoes.
You can expect nothing less than pure, fun-laced music from the co-creator of Party Rock Anthem, Sexy and I Know It and Shots. The chorus on the Big Bad-produced song says it all: “Pop bottles, make it rain/ Every night it’s all the same/ Hit the club, hit the after party, then we hit the plane.”
Unlike rappers of the past, whose suburban fans were shunned for listening to lyrics they could never relate to, the guys from LMFAO make music that everyone can identify with. Ya know… making it rain, flying private, the usual.
5 Things Guys Should Stop Doing. Like, Now.
Seriously Though
Contributing Writer Amanda Hanowitz • @getWITZit
If you’re a lady, which I have to assume you are since you read my articles on floral pants and hats with pom poms, let me know if you agree.
In the case that you’re a man, you were either
A) Forced to read this article (by me or your lady friend)
B) Just interested in what I’ve got to say. In which case hello to you and call me.
Boys, read on so you can feel our pain
Today we shall discuss a matter of the heart. Specifically, the mind games guys play that drive us girls absolutely CRAZY.
1. Learn How to Text
Stop being stupid about how you text us, especially when it comes to punctuation. I do not mean grammatically incorrect texts. Although, grammar crimes must come to an end.
Incorrect simply means using an exclamation point instead of a period in a sentence. The period makes you seem stern, unwelcoming and unexcited. See how we could misconceive that? The simple period usage could have us second-guessing what you truly mean by your message. From here, we cry over how to respond. Then we respond in such a way that is sneaky and flirty enough that ensures a response back. See how this vicious cycle works?
2. Don’t Be Mean. But Don’t Be Nice Either.
Well, be mean enough to keep us guessing. Be nice enough to ensure we enjoy your company without wanting to rip our hair out. No girl likes an asshole, but secretly every girl does. But this asshole must have a soft side, otherwise he’s going nowhere… except for the Jersey Shore. But don’t be overly affectionate.
Don’t be one of those weird novel-texters who checks up on his girl every five minutes to make sure her homework is going well. First of all, who does homework anymore? And secondly, if I wanted to read a novel, I’d actually read one. Maybe Fifty Shades of Grey.
3. Don’t Act Like You Don’t Know Me
If we’ve met, admit you remember my name. Here’s a scenario for you:
Girl meets boy. Boy buys girl drink. Girl and boy make out. Fun for everyone until the next time they meet…
Girl says hi to boy, in a cute way of course, because girls are perfect and never creepy or psychotic. Boy “forgets” girl’s name. No you didn’t, stupid boy. You remember. And for whatever reason you’re choosing to forget. But remember boys, girls are perfect and never creepy and never psychotic, so it would be totally normal for them to tell everyone how much you suck.
4. Don’t Act Like You’re The Shit
Thinking you are superior in every way. For example, when writing this article I had a small case of writer’s block. I needed a few more great examples of how guys suck mostly all of the time, so I turned to a professional. This professional is none other than a boy. I asked this boy for an example of something he does that isn’t favorable.
“Guys shouldn’t stop doing anything,” he began. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This was my aha moment.
5. Be a little less comfortable.
I’m so happy that you feel comfortable enough around me to be yourself. Truly, it’s magical. Just please, please, please, keep your bodily functions to yourself. That is all. Thank you.
How to be Fake
Fake it Til Ya Make It
Contributing Writer Amanda Hanowitz • @getWITZit
Have you ever wanted to pretend to be someone you’re not? You can admit it. I’d love nothing more than to be a Kardashian. There are so many ways to go about being fake. But fakeness is not the goal here. Confused? Keep reading.
To ‘make it’ you must do a little faking . I am not telling you to be fake like high school girls. That’s no fun for anyone. What I am telling you to do is play mind games with others.
Obviously we’ll start by exploring “faking it” through fashion.
It’s impossible to assume everyone can afford the latest Christian Louboutins or the tightest Herve Leger dress. To assume makes an ass out of you and me.
With so many trendy boutiques and affordable online shopping sites these days, it’s easy to be hip and look ravishing without breaking the bank. Don’t worry. You’ll still look like you broke it with a hammer. Anyone?
My new obsession: Topshop.
It’s your destination for all things trendy, edgy and affordable. What could be better?
Topshop sells unique pieces sure to please anyone. Feeling frisky? Try some floral work pants. Feeling edgy? Try a studded blouse. Feeling invincible? Try some tribal MC Hammer pants. The world of Topshop truly is your oyster.
Think of it as an affordable version of the newest and coolest trends on the runway and on the streets. Deck yourself out in what’s hot, perhaps a pair of trendy overalls. They exist, I promise.
Try this season’s hot white and black trend with a skirt, blouse and thin black belt. Go for patterns and prints. Maybe you’ll even find your prints charming! OK, I’ll stop being so punny. Dress it up or dress it down with Topshop. You can even wow your friends in a simple t-shirt, kick ass printed shorts and buckled wedges.
Look your finest while sitting in class in their wondrous collection of over sized sweaters and wedge sneakers.
The moral of the Topshop story, although it was quite all over the place, is that you can look like a million bucks without spending it.
So shop your way to the top. My cleverness with that slogan never ceases to amaze me. Time to fake it till ya make it
America’s Weirdest Holidays, January – March
We’re far more than the greatest country in the world…
We’re also the greatest civilization that ever existed.
That’s why we have so much to celebrate!
So how does one go about creating a national holiday? Well, it takes a lot of work and literally an act of Congress. First you have to create a proposal and contact your local congress person. You have to get it onto the congressional agenda. Next you have to be patient. It takes a while.
That’s it. You can find your local representative by searching the US House of Representatives database.
There are a bunch of ‘fake’ national holidays that have been created and copyrighted for advertising purposes. But the list below are real from what we can tell.
January
03 Fruitcake Toss Day
08 Bubble Bath Day
Nothing beats sitting in a tub of your own filth, except sitting in a tub of your filth mixed with bubbles. The girl is a bonus.
09 Play God Day
Not enough people play God these days.
11 Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day
12 Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day
[Insert wise-ass comment here]
14 Dress Up Your Pet Day
Or in the case of Long Island, Westchester, OC, LA and North Jersey housewives, and girls who go to school at Syracuse or UMD… Thursday.
19 National Popcorn Day
23 Measure Your Feet Day
Confucius say: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete’s tongue.
25 Opposite Day
Yup, there really is a legit opposite day.
27 Chocolate Cake Day
28 National Kazoo Day
We’ll show you a kazoo 😉
February
02 Ground Hog Day
No offense, but how did this become a legitimate holiday?
11 White T-Shirt Day
Or in the case of 2003 drug dealers… Tuesday.
12 Plum Pudding Day
13 Get a Different Name Day
Especially if you’ve just committed a crime.
18 National Battery Day
In Philly, they celebrate this multiple times during baseball season.
20 Cherry Pie Day
20 Hoodie Hoo Day
LOL really?
22 Be Humble Day
28 National Tooth Fairy Day (also August 22)
Also can be celebrated on Mother’s Day or Father’s day BECAUSE THE TOOTH FAIRY DOES NOT EXIST.
MARCH
01 Employee Appreciation Day first Friday in March
The other 364 days/year are “Take advantage of the help Day”
01 National Pig Day
05 Multiple Personality Day
06 Dentist’s Day
It’s always nice to have a good dentist.
08 Be Nasty Day
11 Worship of Tools Day
lol
16 Everything You Do is Right Day
Or for guy’s having conversations with their girlfriends… everyday.
20 Extraterrestrial Abductions Day
Yup… March 20th is the day we celebrate those who have been kidnapped by aliens wtf
25 Waffle Day
This might be the best one.
26 Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
Someone paid their congress person a lot of money.
28 Something on a Stick Day
Stay tuned for April – June
