Remember your senior year in high school when everyone votes on the prettiest, the smartest, the best athlete, and the class clown? Thought you were in the clear now that the cheerleaders and jocks can’t judge you anymore? Think again, let’s pick on your city and see if it’s the prettiest, most popular kid in school or what?

Washingtonians are jumping on the recent title, given by Forbes, which awarded DC as ‘The Coolest Place to Live’. But is it really? We sure think so.

But to be fair let’s see what other ‘honors’ this city of ours has accumulated. We are going to roll out the superlatives for our Nation’s capital, because whether you love DC or hate DC, Washington DC makes an appearance on nearly every list, from the drunkest to the healthiest and everything in between.

The Worst Traffic

Everyone is used to hearing about the awful LA and Manhattan traffic but those outside the DMV probably don’t know that DC is consistently listed in the year’s worst traffic lists by Forbes, The WTOP Traffic Center, Texas A&M Transportation Institute, etc.

Some lists report the DC region’s traffic being worse than chronically choked LA, San Francisco and New York, the report says. As one report says Washingtonians burns 67 hours and 32 gallons of gas each year sitting in traffic.

Some lists rank DC #1 in traffic, but it’s at least always in the top 10!

The Best for Singles and Dating

A new study by the number-crunching site shows that DC is the second best city in the U.S. for singles, statistically speaking. Why? Because of the number of potential dates, the number of bars and restaurants making up the city’s social scene and date affordability.

More specifically, Nerd Wallet got its results by calculating the percentage of unmarried people, the number of bars and restaurants per 1,000 residents and the cost of two movie tickets, a meal and one bottle of wine in each city.

The Worst Parking

Parking sucks, plain and simple and DC is one of the worst places to park. Nerdwallet.com took a look at parking in cities all over the country and DC was named the 7th worst parking city in the U.S.!

The study looked at parking costs and vehicle theft rates. DC officers are avid ticketers, as the city collected $92.6 million in parking fines in 2011. (Take note that the highest ticketed time is during the National Cherry Blossom Festival.) It costs $19 a day and $270 a month to park in the city. Our city also boasts 60.17% more motor vehicle thefts per capita than the national average. Lock your doors.

The Ugliest City

Travel + Leisure readers have crowned the U.S. cities with the best-looking people—and beach bums need not apply. And the winner is….Least Attractive No. 1 Washington, D.C.

Locals came off as both unfriendly and not so stylish. But the city still offers some timeless beauties. Though it’s diverse residents are generally pretty healthy and get lots of sleep, their overall stress level skyrockets (they were ranked as Forbes.com’s ninth most stressful place to live), and the air is crap (they’re 14th for most ozone pollution). Travel and Leisure gave them props for having brains, but ranked them least attractive. This one hurts the old shallow ego.

The Healthiest City

OK, so we are ugly, but healthy? Sure, we will take what we can get. All five of the healthiest cities on the Forbes list boasted obesity rates fewer than 23 percent and smoking rates fewer than 18 percent. (Just 10 percent for San Francisco and 13 percent for DC)

And as a snapshot of success, 81 percent of people in Washington DC did some kind of physical activity in the last 30 days and fewer than 22 percent are obese. Residents’ rates of heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and general health are also important.

The Drunkest City

To find out which cities drink the most during the year, The Daily Beast analyzed the average number of drinks per month per adult and a city’s percentages of heavy and binge drinkers, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

So bottoms up people, DC ranks #9, with a little more time and effort in the DC nightclub scene, we’re sure we can get our numbers up and, if we all commit to success, be #1 next year! Nearby neighbors Baltimore ranked #13 and Norfolk #2. Check out DC’s stats:

Average alcoholic drinks consumed by adults per month: 15.6

Percentage of population classified as binge drinkers: 14.5%

Percentage of population classified as heavy drinkers: 5%

The Worst Weather

DC has ranked in both the worst summers and winters categories according to Weather.com. In 2010, Baltimore/DC Metro ranked #2 in worst winter weather with record 77″ in Baltimore, MD 56″ in Washington, DC. Baltimore city crews dumped snow in the harbor, for lack of any other place and there were citywide roof collapses, plus the federal government shutdown for 3 days ($350 million), which didn’t help it’s ranking.

Fresh off a second place finish in our top 10 worst winters compilation, the Washington, DC area has grabbed the top spot for the worst summers. The DC Metro covered all the bases Weather.com used to determine their top 5 rankings- damaging thunderstorms, flash floods, power outages, oppressive heat and drought.

The Most Powerful City

Though DC didn’t make The Guardian’s list of the World’s 25 Most Powerful Cities, the most powerful man does live here after all, duh, the President of the United States. Being the nations capital DC is ground zero for political activism, and cultural landmarks. Another list, done by CityLab in 2012 ranked DC #4 in America’s Most Powerful Global Cities based on economic output, wages and salaries, and population.

Basically, Washington is b­ooming. The population is growing b­ecause there’s work here. Young people continue to pour in – there’s only a three per cent vacancy rate in DC property b­ecause b­ig government in America continues to employ people regardless of what’s happening to unemployment elsewhere in the economy.

The Worst Place to Retire

When thinking of retirement, palm trees and golf courses come to mind; though there are lots of free things to do in the DC area, including admission to nearly all of the Smithsonian museums and the National Zoo. The hard part is being able to afford to live close enough to take advantage of these world-class exhibits on a regular basis.

The typical renter age 60 and older spends $1,122 per month to live in the Washington metro area. Homeowners with a mortgage pay even more: a median of $1,974 per month. And even those who have paid off their mortgages face other housing costs amounting to $652 per month. Median long-term care costs are slightly higher than the rest of the country, typically costing $243 per day for a nursing home stay or $3,698 monthly for assisted living.

The Highest Aids Rate

MediaTakeOut.com obtained from the US Census the 25 cities with the HIGHEST HIV RATES in the United States. Wow, wrap it twice when you take that WMC trip to Miami next year. They rank by the number of people with the Bug per 100,000 and the cumulative number of cases.

1. Miami, FL
2. Baton Rouge, LA
3. Jacksonville, FL
4. New York, NY-NJ-PA
5. Washington, DC-VA-MD-WV
6. Columbia, SC
7. Memphis, TN-MS-AR
8. Orlando, FL
9. New Orleans-Metairie-Kenner, LA
10. Baltimore-Towson, MD

The Most Expensive

Affordability aside, America’s costliest cities often have a lot to offer residents: vibrant economies, diverse populations, interesting attractions and active social scenes. New grads and established millionaires alike find a worthwhile home in the nation’s capital. At 2.5 times the U.S. average, local housing expenses can be onerous, but near-normal prices for other goods and services, including health care, transportation and utilities, lessens the sting.

Free diversions, including the national monuments, numerous Smithsonian museums and the National Zoo, are an added perk. A favorable job market and plump paychecks also help.

Cost of Living: 40.1% above U.S. average

City Population: 633,427

Median Household Income: $64,267

Median Home Value: $443,000

The Most Dangerous City

Neighborhood Scout ranked the Most Dangerous Cities in America with 25,000 or more people and out of 100 cities DC ranked #46, that’s one place worse than Compton the city that all those rappers talk about. Awesome!

The cities were ranked based on the number of violent crimes per 1,000 residents. Violent crimes include murder, forcible rape, armed robbery, and aggravated assault. Data used for this research are 1) the number of violent crimes reported to the FBI to have occurred in each city, and 2) the population of each city.  Stock up on mace!

The Most Diverse City

Walking the street of the District can often look like a United Colors of Benetton ad. With the Senate passing a major immigration reform bill and a US Census report forecasting that white people will become a minority in the US by 2043, we are slowly inching towards a much more diverse future and here I was hoping for a hover board.

NerdWallet, a financial website for consumers, calculated which cities had the most equal distribution of residents across four common ethnic groups. Out of the top 20 most diverse cities, 7 of those were in the DC metro area. Check out the full list of America’s Most Diverse Cities here.

So, good or bad, DC cracks into almost every list and that in and of itself should be a list, the city that appears on the most lists list.