Black n Tan

Nothing’s manlier than beer on top of beer.  That’s like bacon on top of bacon with a Marlboro Red cigarette in a truck with some Levi’s and a beard… anyway, it’s a pretty manly drink which will definitely put some hair on your chest, or at least jump start puberty.

• 1 (12 fluid ounce) bottle lager beer
• 1 (12 fluid ounce) bottle Guinness beer

Pour half the lager beer into a tall beer glass. Place a large tablespoon (dome side up) above the first layer. Slowly pour half the stout beer over the spoon, so the stout gently pours down the side of the glass. Allow standing a few seconds for distinct layers of beer to form.

Jack Daniels

There wasn’t a great metal or rock album or music video that doesn’t pay homage to the brown sauce, usually Jack Daniels. The all American Tennessee bad boy brew that will have you on the back of a Harley headed to the strip club, bangin’ your head faster than you can say, “shout at the devil”.

Johnnie Walker Blue

Johnnie Blue will definitely put a dent in your wallet, but if you aim to impress, ordering this high-end blend will impress the ladies and the bartender.  Don’t bother shooting this pricey pour; the ‘civilized’ gent will sip his scotch straight up or on the rocks. Whether truly classy or playing pretend, Johnnie Blue will put you a step above your beer chugging buddies.

Johnnie Walker Blue Label is blended to recreate the character and taste of some of the earliest whiskey blends created in the 19th century.  Bottles are numbered serially and sold in a silk-lined box accompanied by a certificate of authenticity. It is one of the most expensive blended Scotches on the market, with prices in the range of $200.

Straight Shots

Nothing makes a guy look more like a pussy than downing a chic shot. There is a major difference between “shots” vs. “shooters”. Shots are straight shots of one type of liquor: vodka, tequila, bourbon, etc. Conversely, shooters are sissy, sugary, concoctions of fruity liqueurs and juices: sex on the beach, kamikaze, woo woo. Even the names will have you wearing a skirt before finish your pansy cocktail.  Be a man and order yours straight, save the shooters for the barely legal, castrated set!

Real Beer

Beer is the world’s most widely consumed alcoholic beverage, the “every man’s” drink.  But, even here, consume with caution. You have a set of balls, so use them and keep away from lite beer unless in the comfort of your own home, alone. Lite beer will have girls thinking you are manorexic, will order a diet soda and a side salad if you go on a date, and girls don’t want to be able to share jeans with their man!

Side note: People need to stay away from Malt Liquor unless your homeless, or going back in time to 1996, clutching a Zima with a Jolly Rancher in it.

Rum

Rum can go both ways. When taken as Captain Morgan, exotic dark rum, or a simple rum and coke, the spirit gives off a manly sensibility. But mixed with pineapple, or swirled into a frozen beverage, you’ll be the newest cast member for the off Broadway bitch fest “The Vagina Monologues” before you’re finished with your island beverage.

Rum is a distilled alcoholic beverage made from sugarcane byproducts such as molasses, or directly from sugarcane juice. The distillate, a clear liquid, is then usually aged in oak barrels. The majority of the world’s rum production occurs in the Caribbean and Latin America.

Manhattan

This is the type of drink you’d expect suited up stockbrokers on Wall Street to be sipping while they discuss the best way to cheat on their wives and steal from their clients.

Preparation: Stirred over ice, strained into a chilled glass, garnished, and served straight up.

A Manhattan is a cocktail made with whiskey, sweet vermouth, and bitters. Commonly used whiskeys include rye (the traditional choice), Canadian whisky (simply called Rye in Canada), bourbon, or blended whiskey and Tennessee whiskey. The cocktail is often stirred with ice and strained into a cocktail glass, where it is garnished with a Maraschino cherry.

Martini

A classic martini would be the drink of choice for James Bond- “shaken not stirred!” While other “girly” martini variations, such as the Cosmopolitan, made famous by the ‘Sex in the City’ hags, or the sickeningly sweet Apple Martinis have been popularized, the original martini, made with gin or vodka, will say you can handle a strong drink and you’ve got some class.

The martini is a cocktail made with gin and vermouth, and garnished with an olive or a lemon twist. Over the years, the martini has become one of the best-known mixed alcoholic beverages.

Margarita

Margaritas made properly are nothing to take lightly. A real man would know his tequila; order a nice Anejo or Resposado, maybe top with Gran Marnier and fresh lime juice. But make no mistake; the margarita can take a turn into vagina town quickly. Never order it frozen, or swirled, or blue, fruity red flavored messes. Save that for Fire Island or an all girls pajama party.

A Mexican cocktail consisting of tequila mixed with orange-flavored liqueur and lime or lemon juice, often served with salt on the glass rim. It is the most common tequila-based cocktail in the United States.

Irish Coffee

Nothing boosts your morning blend quite like a shot of Irish whiskey.  Envision a rugged Irish gent on the rolling greens hills of it’s mother land chopping wood, or herding sheep. They surely need a strong dose of caffeine to get ’em going and a shot to kill the hangover they have from last night!

Irish after all are well known for being able to handle their alcohol and being able to handle semi-automatic weaponry due to the fact that half the country is serving or have served in either the FCA or the Slua in their spare time.